Stuck Together by Jamie Knight

Author:Jamie Knight
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Published: 2020-04-13T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Dean

I couldn't do attachment. It’s not that I didn't want to. If I was honest, if to no one else then at least to myself, if I was going to commit to anyone, it would have been Becky. But I couldn't. Me trying to commit fully, or even significantly, would be like a psychopath trying to love someone. It was just fucking impossible.

I couldn't even love Jessica. It wasn't that I didn't care about her. I had the same protective instinct toward her that all normally functioning adults did for all children. No matter what other issuers I might have had, I still had a basic sense of empathy. Which really only made things worse. The only woman I had ever really loved was dead, and nothing was going to change that.

My sister had saved my life more than once, and I wasn't even there when she died. I wasn't dumb enough to think I could have prevented the virus from taking her. I could have beaten the living shit out of the clearly crooked personal doctor who wouldn’t take her to the hospital. Though, while it would have made me feel better in the moment, it still wouldn't bring Simone back and would only leave me with sore knuckles and a prison record.

I couldn't help but notice a lot of my life decisions up to that point would have led to hard time.

I had meant to go back to work. The project was still ahead of schedule, but I had lost an entire day of work, and I had to make it up. Or at least I felt like I did. I knew it wouldn't bring my sister back. At least the part of my brain that was still sane did. That still didn't change the fact that I was driven to finish. I was feeling like finishing the project, and launching the app would finally legitimize the faith and investment Simone had put in me. The final proof of everything she believed I could be if only I had the support and applied myself.

I had started working on the kernel of the idea for the app on the plane to England. It was no small undertaking. Not only did I have to educate myself on every aspect of cyber security, but some aspects of cyber security also had to be invented first. It was a similar case with block-chain. I had known even then that there must be a secure way to keep and use money online. I just had to wait for someone to come up with a base algorithm and improve on it — a process that itself took a good four years. About the same among of time that it took to find someone rich and clueless enough to fund the project without realizing that it was actually going to end up fucking them over.

My secret desk drawer slid out without so much as a squeak. I usually kept it locked, so the last oil job I had given it was still in effect.

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